To the recovering addict I became... a recovering addict?

So I wouldn't describe myself as a massively sheltered person. God has brought me through lots of experiences, set me free from so many things, taken me on many crazy adventures, over a fair amount of seas, to many places and to all kinds of different people. 

But I have never seen anything like this place. This place which is a mere 45 minute drive away from the house I grew up in. This place where a church has been planted and is thriving and growing rapidly... A church made up of people who have lived on the streets, spent decades hooked on the most dangerous drugs, sold their bodies and anything else they had to get their fix, been in and out of prison, had children taken away by social services, stolen, lied, been violent, used fellow human beings as means to terrible ends... But are now new creations. Free from every chain that held them captive. It's the kind of place where you'll come down to breakfast and see a new face and after introducing yourself you'll say "Oh, where are you from then?" and they'll say "Oh I just got out of prison this morning." and then they'll become your new best friend and asking all kinds of questions about faith (yes that happened the other day) Amazing.

That's Betel's vision. To evangelize and plant churches among the least, the last and the lost. To raise up gifted leaders out of people who the world would say are beyond help. 

Friday night was the start of their Cumbre (international conference) where all the founders came over from Spain. I find it incredible how God used a bunch of ex addicts to start something which today has lead literally hundreds of thousands of people (yes, hundreds of thousands of addicts worldwide are now in all kinds of different ministries because of what God did through Betel!) out of the gutter and into the loving arms of God. God uses willing hearts. These people are reminded every day of how God both physically and spiritually brought them from death to life. They know they owe God everything so a willing heart comes naturally to them. They shared stories of how it all began, it was amazing yet also sounded incredibly tough! Most of the leadership of Betel died of HIV AIDS within the first five or ten years of Betel starting, they spent a huge amount of time at cemeteries burying their pastors in those first years, yet God always provided and continued to raise up new people to take on the work. But one of my favourite things about the Betel story is that they made so many mistakes at the beginning! Yet even big mistakes couldn't hinder God's work! 

One of the highlights of the week has been street evangelism amongst Birmingham's homeless. We were witnessing to and praying for a group of homeless people and one of the women burst into tears after hearing the testimony of one of our girls who this time last year was exactly where she was; living on the streets, running out of useable veins to inject heroin, cut off from her family,  prostituting herself and others but is now clean, healed and restored. All because of Jesus. Yes this stuff really does happen!

It's safe to say that I'm having a flipping incredible time.

Anyway, what specifically have I done this week?

So since arriving last Saturday I have been constantly 'on'. The only time I'm alone is when I'm on the toilet or in the shower (the new girls on detox don't even get to be completely alone then!) On Friday I finished some jobs earlier than expected so called my family and best friend, I realised that that was the first time that week where I didn't have something to do. My schedule is pretty much packed from the moment I get up to the moment I fall into bed.

Every single day. Fortunately, God is my strength, sustainer, provider and comforter - that's enough to help even someone as lazy as me!

I'll usually be delivering flyers or working in a cafe or another Betel business or something from 9 to 5, before then is breakfast then prayer, worship and Bible teaching, then after I finish whatever job I'm on that day I'll come back to the house, eat and then do whatever household responsibility I have, then we have an hour of quiet time or small group and then fellowship time and then between 10 and 11 I'm allowed to go to bed.

Why the crazy schedule? Because it's necessary. If the recovering addicts are constantly occupied there's no time to crave a fix, so the leaders and interns have to be constantly occupied also. People in this house are family, not patients. It's so incarnational, this means that I am basically on the programme - I do everything the girls do. To paraphrase Paul: to the recovering addict I became a recovering addict.

I've had many encouraging messages from people this week which is lovely, however I also would like to be honest and say that even though it's been amazing I have also found it incredibly challenging at times and have even managed to find the time to throw a tantrum at God. The other day I came home not in the best of moods, wet and freezing cold after delivering flyers all day in the rain and wind and just wept before God. I told Him that this was too hard and that I couldn't do it. I couldn't be that incarnational. I even made a list of all the petty things I missed about 'normal life', stuff like being able to phone people when I want to, my time and energy being my own, and other things that in my head I had a 'right to'.

But after I wrote all that and was saying to God 'look at all this stuff I'm giving up here! It's not fair! Others don't have to give this stuff up for their placement! Why am I having to give up all these things?!' I felt God break into my hurricane of selfishness and immaturity and say

'Look what I gave up to go after you. Look what I gave up to go after the very people I have sent you to.'

I shut up after that. Praise God.

He gave everything for me. We are all called to give up everything for Him. To give up everything for the sake of the lost. Our time, possessions, hearts and lives are not our own if we belong to Jesus. We cannot serve both God and gold, or both God and ourselves, or both God and our insecurities or whatever else we find controls our actions and desires. 

Greater love has no-one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

As you can see, I'm very much still learning.

God is good all the time
God is good and that is His nature

Thanks for reading

Please spare a prayer for me and this place when you can

May God bless you even more than He's blessed me (and He's blessed me a whole flipping lot!)

Caris

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